


Some Trust

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Oisuga Week, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suga could set his watch by his Skype conversations with Oikawa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Trust

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the last day of oisuga week, free prompt. The prompt came from RaijuBlue (kagarizard on tumblr), which was something happening to Iwaizumi.

Suga couldn't help but glance down at his computer's Skype icon to see if a red notification had popped up. 9PM and his heart started beating faster, like he'd been conditioned to respond. If he'd wanted to stop himself looking at Skype he'd have to shut his computer down. And even then, he had Skype on his phone. 

He tried to distract himself with other websites and his own homework, which he should have gotten done an hour ago. His assignments always took longer than he thought they would. He felt stupid for underestimating a Pathology class considering most of the people in it were either ambitious pre-med undergrads like himself or graduate students who hadn't managed to take the course before. 

9:15PM and a red 1 appeared on the Skype icon. Suga clicked on it. 

**Tooru:** u there?   
**Suga:** yes! how was your day?   
**Tooru:** ψ(｀∇´)ψ  
 **Suga:** ?!!!!!!?!

A screen popped up telling him that Oikawa was calling. Suga answered and saw pixels for a few seconds until they resolved into Oikawa's grinning face. 

“So what's this about?” Suga asked, raising his hands in an imitation of the emoji. 

“So we had a surprise practice match today,” Oikawa said, practically vibrating with excitement, “and it was against Ushiwaka's university.” 

“Oh!” Suga leaned forward and grinned. 

Oikawa ran a hand through his hair, unconsciously smooth it down from where it had been sticking up. “And we demolished him! I made a dump shot and killed it, got right past his block. The look on his face, Kou-chan! It was incredible.” 

“I can imagine,” Suga said. “I've seen that look before.” He had, though not from his own attack, when Karasuno had defeated Ushiwaka and his school two years back. 

“Ahhhhh,” Oikawa bounced up and down. “We'll crush them in a real match! Iwa-chan also hit one of them in the face. By accident, but it was hilarious!” 

Suga laughed. “I wish I'd been there.” 

“So do I,” Oikawa said, suddenly serious. He leaned forward. “I miss you, Kou-chan.” 

Suga's smile turned soft. “I miss you too.” 

“So tell me about your day,” Oikawa said, resting his chin on his hands. “Who did you crush?” 

“I tried to crush my homework,” Suga told him, “but as it turns out the homework is especially stubborn. It's going to take a bit more time.” 

“Which one?” Oikawa asked. 

“Pathology.” 

Oikawa wrinkled his nose. “Is that the class where you have to look at things under microscopes?” 

“I mean they all are.” 

“And where you see graphic pictures of like, diseased skin and gory wounds?” 

“That's the one! Actually,” Suga said, “we're starting a unit on infection and we talked about this allergic reaction to medication where the top layer of the skin essentially bubbles off the bottom layer and then sloughs off, and this also happens inside like on your tongue or in your intestines or--” 

“Spare me, Kou-chan!” Oikawa covered the camera with his computer. “I don't know how you handle it!” 

“I imagine it's different once those things are attached to people in person,” Suga said. 

“But they are,” Oikawa said, visibly shivering. “That sounds awful.” His expression brightened. “But you'll help people with that kind of thing, so I guess it's okay.” 

“You guess,” Suga laughed. “I would hope so!” 

“Oh, I wouldn't worry.” Oikawa fixed Suga with a knowing look that made Suga slightly uncomfortable, like Oikawa was seeing something he couldn't. “Anyone who has you as their doctor doesn't have to worry.” 

Suga laughed nervously and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “I don't know about that.” 

“I do,” Oikawa said. “Trust me. I'm not a doctor.” 

Suga changed the subject. 

*

For Suga, the most frustrating thing about needing to Skype Oikawa was that they weren't actually going to school in different cities. But they were going to different schools, and their busy schedules put enough strain on their time that they couldn't see each other in person often. 

Even if it meant losing sleep to get homework done, Suga would be online at 9PM. Oikawa would usually sign on between 9 and 10 and if he wasn't, he'd let Suga know. Iwaizumi had Oikawa on a strict sleeping schedule so that Oikawa wouldn't overwork himself between school and volleyball, which was something Suga appreciated. He also appreciated that he didn't have to tell Oikawa to be healthier himself, because with his lack of sleep due to homework and sometimes due to his own thoughts, he didn't think he had the right. 

Oikawa usually got out of volleyball practice at 7 and games usually ended between 6 and 8 if they weren't on the weekend. Weekends tended to be a “we'll play it by ear” sort of deal with the both of them. After practice and games Oikawa would have dinner. He usually did his homework in the mornings, which meant that he could Skype Suga in the evenings. Unless Oikawa was out, they'd video call. 

The best nights were when Oikawa fell asleep to Suga's voice after taking the laptop into bed. Those were the nights that he came online wet-haired from a shower and already in his pajamas. They'd talk and eventually Oikawa would settle into bed, lying on his side with his back to the wall. He'd start blinking more and more until his eyelids had trouble staying open and then his breathing would even out. He wouldn't open his eyes. He'd murmur words when the conversation required. Sometimes Suga would start his homework again, going through what he was doing out loud and Oikawa would make a humming sound like he was responding in the spaces between. (Sometimes Oikawa would text Suga the next morning saying he'd dreamed of diseases or scientists and that it was Suga's fault.) Once he fell asleep Suga would whisper goodnight and close the call. 

He wanted nothing more than to actually be there instead of the computer, underneath the warm blankets, curled against Oikawa, noses touching. Soft smiles and softer touches as they fell asleep together. 

Those times were few and far in between. 

Sometimes Suga wondered if Oikawa would get tired of him, if they had that every single night. 

* 

[21 November 2016 10:45PM]

**Suga:** are you coming on tonight?   
**Suga:** is everything alright? 

[22 November 2016 1:15PM]

**Suga:** why aren't you answering your texts or calls  
 **Suga:** I'm seriously worried, Tooru. What's going on?   
**Suga:** I'm thinking about coming over. Please answer. 

[23 November 2016 7:04PM]

**Suga:** Why weren't you at your dorm?   
**Suga:** Did something happen? I'm really worried. 

*

“Suga, stop panicking.” 

“I'm not panicking!” 

Suga paced the lobby of his apartment building, clutching the phone to his ear. 

“You are. Have you been able to concentrate on anything today? Did you even do any of your assignments?” Daichi sounded fond but firm. “Look, I'm sure Oikawa is okay-” 

“This isn't normal,” Suga insisted. “Someone doesn't just drop all contact. It's not normal. He left the school, Daichi. I couldn't reach Iwaizumi either. What if he's hurt? What if he's worse than hurt? Daichi, what if he can't tell me?” 

“Has he been online at all since you sent the last message?” Daichi asked. 

“I...I mean he has been, but it could have been someone else. He would answer if he saw the messages!” 

“Suga, if he's been online and has seen the messages, maybe he just wants space. Did you have an argumenet before this happened?” 

“No! I would have told you if that happened,” Suga said. “It was normal. He fell asleep on the call. Unless I did something or said something. I can't remember. I can't remember our last conversation, Daichi.” 

“If you can't remember it then it was probably normal,” Daichi said. “Look, I'm sure there's a good reason.” 

“You just said that he could be mad at me,” Suga said. “What if he's mad at me?” 

“If he is he should tell you,” Daichi said. “Oikawa may not be the best at dealing with things, but I think he'd confront you about it. This is weird, but I wouldn't overthink it. Maybe something came up and he isn't sure how to bring it up.” 

Suga stopped in his tracks. “R-right.” 

“Do you want me to come over?” Daichi asked, softer. 

Suga bit his lip. Did he want Daichi over? He wasn't sure if Daichi would offer a distraction from his racing thoughts or if he'd be distracted from Daichi. 

“I'm bringing food,” Daichi decided for him, and he hung up. 

* 

[30 November 2016 03:34PM] 

**Tooru:** Iwaizumi was injured during practice and he had to get surgery. His parents wanted him to get it in Miyagi so I went with him and stayed there. He won't be back for the rest of the semester, but I'm coming back to Tokyo tomorrow. I'm sorry I haven't been online much. 

[31 November 2016 2:02AM]

**Suga:** What time does your train get in? 

[31 November 2016 8:12AM]

**Tooru:** 1:42 

* 

Suga almost didn't show up. 

He felt sick. He was shaking. He knew he looked bad as he forced himself out of his apartment. He walked. The cold air bit at his coat, made him hunch into himself. Each minute the clock moved forward his heart felt more and more like it was going to burst out of his chest. 

When he'd first seen the message he'd felt horrible. Oikawa had been suffering. He was wrong to be upset. 

Then he felt angry. Why couldn't Oikawa tell him? Why hadn't he bothered to send a quick message just to let Suga know that he'd be away and that he was okay? 

Then he felt angry at himself. Why should he expect Oikawa to trust him with a crisis involving his best friend, whom he'd known for years before he ever met Suga? 

Suga placed himself in front of Platform 9, where the train from Sendai would be arriving. He wanted to run. He felt dizzy, his entire body tingling. He swayed on his feet, unbalanced. 

The train pulled in and slowed to a stop. The doors opened. People poured onto the platform and pushed past Suga. 

Then, one of them stopped. 

Oikawa, dragging a small suitcase behind him, stood in front of him. People shoved at him and Suga as they stared at each other. 

“Hey,” Oikawa said. He looked tired. “Are you mad at me?” 

Like the people getting off the train, all of Suga's emotions seemed to rush away, leaving him numb. “I don't know,” he said, and it didn't sound like his own voice. 

Oikawa's eyebrows drew together. “I'm—” 

“Let's go back,” Suga said, and he spun around and started walking. 

He heard the rolling of suitcase wheels against concrete behind him, and once they were outside Oikawa was able to walk by his side. They weaved through the people, Suga letting his feet carry him almost on autopilot. They weren't going to Suga's apartment, because Suga wanted the option to leave. So he took them to Oikawa's. 

Oikawa's apartment was a longer walk from the station than Suga's and they walked the whole thing in silence. The sound of suitcase wheels grinding against the ground filled Suga's head with a buzzing noise. He almost felt like he'd stepped off a cliff into nothingness when they stood in front of the door and the noise suddenly stopped. 

Oikawa opened the door, stepped back to let Suga pass. Suga did, and they walked to the elevator. The suitcase wheels were quieter inside, so Suga had nothing to distract from the silence. The elevator walls felt like they were closing in, and then they reached Oikawa's floor and stepped out. 

Oikawa led him down the hallway to his door, showed him inside. The space looked familiar, filled with TV show posters (mostly the X-Files), athletic gear, and books from school. 

Oikawa took off his jacket and tossed it onto the couch. He glanced at Suga, who hovered by the door. “Sit?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” Oikawa pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I know I should have messaged you earlier. I know you're mad. But I was really upset and scared and I didn't think you would care because it's Iwa-chan and you don't really know him and I thought I could handle it on my own.” He looked up at Suga, tentative. 

Suga felt his hands clench and unclench. His teeth clenched, too. He didn't want to say anything. He was afraid of what he was going to say. Afraid that he'd confess to the nights he spent not sleeping because he kept going through all the horrible things that could have happened, and all the reasons Oikawa could have for leaving him. There were a lot, in Suga's mind. 

“Koushi?” Oikawa's voice was soft. 

Suga felt something snap. “Why didn't you trust me?” 

“What?” 

“Why didn't you trust me to help you?” Suga asked. His voice shook. “Why did you think I wouldn't care? Why didn't you believe me when I said I'd always be there for you?” Each question seemed to hit Oikawa like a physical strike. 

“I-I didn't know,” Oikawa said. 

“Didn't know what?” 

“I didn't know it would make you feel that way!” Oikawa took a deep breath. “Iwa-chan said I should just talk to you, but I thought I could handle it. I mean, if you'd heard me whining about Iwa-chan every single night, you would've gotten tired of it.” 

“No I wouldn't have,” Suga snapped. “You can't assume that. I care about you, and about everything you care about. I don't get tired of you. I don't get tired of any part of you. Not when you're insecure about volleyball or when you get into arguments with your teammates or when you miss home. So why would you think this would be any different? Because it's more important? Would you get tired of my stuff?” 

“You don't tell me a lot of your stuff too, you know,” Oikawa pointed out. “You always make it seem like my volleyball problems are more important than your school problems and you brush them off, but I know you're tired and overwhelmed sometimes.” 

“Why didn't you say something?” Suga asked. Oikawa's words struck a chord. It was automatic for him to brush aside his own problems in favor of everyone else's, because to him, everyone else's problems were more important. He didn't think Oikawa had noticed. 

“Because it was a weird thing to bring up,” Oikawa muttered. 

“I never broke contact with you and didn't tell you why,” Suga said. 

“You're right, I should have trusted you, but I was scared. I'm not the best at showing weakness, you know. And Iwa-chan is a really big weakness. But maybe if I felt like you trusted me, I would have told you.” 

“I do trust you,” Suga said. “I just...” He felt suddenly exhausted. He made his way over to the couch and sank into the cushions. “I just don't think of my problems as important.” 

Oikawa's eyes widened. “They are important.” He took a seat next to Suga. “How about this? Let's exchange some problems. I'll go first, since I fucked up so badly.” 

“Tooru-” 

“Iwa-chan broke his ankle,” Oikawa said, hands clutching the edge of the couch. “He was in so much pain, and it was really scary. I didn't think he was going to die, but the idea of not being able to set to him anymore...I mean, we've been on the same team for years. It's always been the two of us, and I thought if anyone was going to have to go, it would be me with my knee. It's because of him I'm still playing. He keeps me from overdoing it with volleyball. So the idea of him not being there just messed with me. And then he was upset, too, about possibly not being able to play again. He will, but not this year and I'm just scared that I won't be able to do it alone.” 

“I'm sorry,” Suga said. He placed a hand, hesitantly, on Oikawa's arm. Oikawa didn't move away, so Suga squeezed softly. “You will. You aren't alone. You have other teammates, and you have me. I know we're not him, but we can help. And you know what to do to stay healthy. Iwaizumi might have taught you how, but you were the one who kept taking his advice and actually doing something with it.” 

Oikawa nodded. “That's true. It's just hard. I mean,” he laughed, nervous, “I cried, Koushi.” 

“Everyone does,” Suga said. “I'm sure everyone would cry over something like that.” 

“So what about you?” Oikawa asked, taking Suga's hand off his arm and squeezing it tight. 

“I don't think I'm good enough,” Suga said. “Sometimes for pre-med. Sometimes for my friends. Sometimes for you. I thought you'd figured it out when you stopped talking to me.” 

Oikawa's eyes widened. He let go of Suga's hand and placed his hands on Suga's shoulders, forcing Suga to face him. 

“Look at me,” he said, and Suga lifted his eyes to meet Oikawa's. “You are good enough. You are amazing, Koushi. That's why I love you. You care so much.” 

Suga felt his eyes start to burn. “I know. I don't know what's wrong, when I feel like I'm not.” 

“Tell me when you do,” Oikawa said, “and I'll tell you that you are.” 

Suga gave him a small smile. “I'll share mine if you share yours.” 

Oikawa nodded. “And you know what else, Kou-chan?” 

“What?” 

“I could never get tired of you.” 

“Neither could I.” Suga leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Oikawa's lips. Oikawa wrapped his arms around Suga and pulled him closer, kissing him like he never wanted to let go. 

Eventually they parted, just enough so that Oikawa could rest his chin on Suga's head and Suga could curl up into Oikawa's arms. They stayed that way for hours, neither wanting to let the other go.


End file.
